Another year older!!

Hi Peeps!

Well I am overwhelmed with all the emails and private messages via facebook regarding the 'letter to my younger self'. It seems that that blogpost touched a nerve with you all. It must be something to do with being older and what we know now . Ain't hindsight a great thing - am going to see if I can market it at all.

I actually appreciated all the emails and messages but do feel free to commment below the blogs too. And this blog finds me another year older. Have just spent a brilliant Saturday with my best friend who spoilt me rotten. Love her to bits. We attended a gin cocktail making class and whilst not a lover of gin - it's more the perfumed smell that I don't like - however adding cola to it does mask the smell! A remark was made that that made me 'a classy lady' - err obviously, actually using gin as the base for the cocktails did produce some lovely ones. What should one drink with gin?

After having a great day- I ended up getting the bus home and had to spoil a great day by leaving my shopping on the bus! I believe it had something to do with that last glass of wine but I can't be sure. Believe me and the bestie imbibed a tad too much!  Anyways my shopping has been handed into the lost property section at the bus station. So thank you to the honest people that did that. Have to admit that in my whole life I have never once left or lost anything but trust me to do this . At least for once, I didn't succumb to my usual bout of drunk calling and texting. My wean, goalieboy thought that this was extremely hilarious. Will store this up and remind him when he does it in the future.

Have any of you been tuning into that programme running on channel 4 called 'Benefits Street'?  The programme follows people who live in a street and are on benefits, how they live and what they do/want from life. Well it started a huge discussion in our workroom about benefits and food. There was an actual live debate regarding it which included politicians, residents from that street and other people who have been living on benefits and have their views on it. Edwina Curry was asked to give her view along with Jack Monroe who writes a blog based on living on £10's a week.

Edwina stated that it was fine for people in this day and age to have no money to buy food and that anyone could just walk into a Foodbank and get food to feed their family!! Err no you can't Edwina - you need a voucher in order to do that and that voucher is given from agencies. Jack Monroe was great at getting her point over but Edwina tried to bring this young girl down/try to shut her up by making disparaging remarks about the girl's family. So not right and Edwina you tosspot,  you really should know better and maybe stick to keeping hens for your egg throwing antics!

Our workroom discussion has seen us all getting behind the local foodbank as they do not have enough food to go around their community. It's something that I feel strongly about as everyone has the right to a hot meal or ingredients to make a basic meal for their family. What do you think about this? Do you think it's right in this day and age?

Jack Monroe's blog is excellent as it details and gives recipes on what she has made to eke out her shopping budget. I have tried some of her recipes and they are great, tasty and cheap. Check out her blog - 'a girl called Jack'. It's fantastic. W


I had to go to the doctors recently as I wasn't feeling quite tiptop and she prescribed 'dom perignon' on the NHS. Total result for me!! Imagine the look on my face when I was handed tablets from the pharmacy called - 'donperidon' - not impressed!!! A life sipping champagne completely eradicated in four seconds!!So not fair.

And a wee choon for you

Well I hope you are all staying our of trouble - till next time!

Dinks

xx

A letter to my younger self.

So what advice would I give to my sixteen year old self?

Here's my letter:

Dear Margaret

When I look down through the years at you - I see you at school beavering away, trying your hardest and trying to be ultra organised with your whole life. (you will never stop being organised - it's as natural to you as breathing. ) But stop for a wee moment and catch your breath. Give yourself permission to do so.

You were always trying to fit in, to be liked. You don't like yourself very much and hate what you see in the mirror but I want you to know that it doesn't matter what people think. Not everyone will like you so accept that for what it's meant to be. That's how life works. Those who are meant to be in your life will be there and the ones that do not want to be there, will leave.

You don't have to try to be perfect - be yourself and be true to yourself. You need to follow your instincts about what you want to do with your life and not let others sway you and push you down paths that you don't want to tread.

Stop planning and trying to organise your future. Try to live for just now and enjoy it. You've spent so much time doing that that you miss out on things. Life is meant to be a mystery so let it unfold as it's meant too. Be aware of opportunities that land in your path and grab them! Take the chance to travel and explore the world.

From a very young you were always aware of having to walk on eggshells to please people. Now young Margaret,  I would tell you that you don't have to do that even at 16 you are still doing it. Realise that you will never make these people happy.  Stop blaming yourself for everything you have to know that nothing is YOUR fault - you're just a product of the situation. My advice is carry on being you as you will realise in later life that there is people looking out for you but you were just too young to realise that. Forgive others otherwise you will spend years being bitter and you deserve better.

That brittle exterior you portray has come from years of showing that nothing matters or affects you. We both know that's not true. You had to live, so be kind to yourself. Cherish those adults who extend a hand to you as they realise what you are not able too. They make huge difference to your life just by being who they are. Always remember you are not alone.

In a couple of years two special people will enter your life; you will meet your two bestest and closest friends who will still be there decades later. Realise that they are precious and hold them close. They don't realise how much they help you just by being there but they make an immense difference to your life. They are your true sisters.  They build your confidence and try to get you to believe in yourself. Believe them when they tell you things.

You are a good person but it will take you decades to realise that and it will be your own children who facilitate that learning curve for you. You get so much from your children and you encourage them to explore life. Follow this advice for yourself. Accept who you are now and save yourself years of angst. Love yourself for who YOU are and don't ever change.

As for loving relationships, you will settle for people that don't cherish you or treat you how you should be treated. So never settle for less than you deserve. Walk away from people if you are unhappy - don't try to do all the mending - it takes two people to do that. This is a huge lesson in later life. My advice is tell that blonde haired lad at school that you like him and have had a huge crush on him for years!

Most of all enjoy life, embrace all it has to offer you, treat it as a huge adventure, don't be scared, go for it, have fun, laugh at yourself, believe in yourself and DANCE!!

Big hugs and kisses to you


xxxx

Life in a bubble. xx

Hi Peeps

How are you all doing? Things are still hectic here and I keep trying to settle down to write my blog but then I get caught up in other things namely playing mawstaxis.com and my day job. Acht at least our days are getting longer which means that we should be getting cheerier? Or maybe not!

I came across this quote the other day and it really struck a deep note with me:

'For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way. Something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.' - Fr. Alfred D'Souza.

It hit home that this is exactly what I have done all my life - and I believe that I'm not the only one guilty of doing it. C'mon own up - YOU do it too!!

Thinking back to my teens I believed that if I trained harder for competitive swimming I would be more popular at school or with the others in the swimming club. If I hung around in the right crowd at school then I would be popular. If I studied harder and worked harder at school, if I tidied my room, done what I was asked that my parents would be proud and happy with me but it never happened. I was always left with a feeling that something was lacking, that what I did was never good enough and that nothing would ever be good enough. Looking back, a huge part of it was probably down to me being the eldest of four girls and no parents were ever giving a parenting manual or instructions on how 'to parent'.

So it always felt that I was living my life in a bubble and that if I tried to attain these things then everything would be fine and life would begin. It never worked out that way though. Even in my twenties and thirties I still struggled with the same feelings and thoughts. I believed that if I kept a clean, spotless house and cooked nice meals that I would be loved but it was again always conducted whilst living in that bubble. Even down to my weight - if I lost weight then people would like me and then I would have this fabulous life but it doesn't work like that!

 I remember a day quite clearly, that I was going to my sister's wedding and my friend was coming with me. She was coming to meet me at the house before we went to the wedding. My friend arrived to find me on my hands and knees washing down all the doors and the skirting boards in the house and I was nowhere near ready to go to a wedding and neither was my bairn. She couldn't understand it but I had got it into my head that I wouldn't be able to enjoy the wedding as my house was unclean. I did enjoy the wedding but it took me ages to relax as I was still thinking 'oh. I never cleaned that or did that'. How pathetic eh?

I suppose what I'm trying to say is that whilst I was living life thinking that 'it will begin when' - life was actually taking place. This time two years ago - I was involved in a car accident where someone ran into the back of me at a roundabout and it resulted in my car being shoved into the road of oncoming traffic. I actually closed my eyes and literally saw my life flash by. I was terrified as I thought that I had died. IT sounds dramatic I know but I was terrified and this shook me for months. But it did give me a wake up call and since then I have made an effort to live in 'the moment.'   So no more excessive cleaning and believing that life will get better. It is what it is and only you are responsible for what happens.

So it got me to thinking about what advice I would give my 16 year old self in order to enjoy and live life to the fullest. So I am going to write her a letter and I will share it with you next time.

If this has got you thinking then it would be great to know what advice you would give your younger self. What would you put in your letter?

Till next time.

Dink's

Xxx